Saturday, 29 September 2012

The Dream


Last night asleep in bed I dreamt I was in bed asleep last night.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Happiness

Silent, environmentally frisky, multi-fandoogled new old ice cream vans move stilly on summer/winter day-nights selling free monochrome coloured happiness: 'One scoop or two?'

But it never lasts. 

Happiness melts.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

The Fart

We were standing on the beach, a little drunk, our kisses careless.

I ran my hand down your back coming to rest on your buttocks.

We kissed again as the sun faded then you farted and the flowered fabric of your dress bellowed and I looked out to sea and glimpsed the tall ship of our love set sail on that fine wind for wondrous lands unknown.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Getting Lost

He told me religion for him was like an underground map; it didn't show everything just the important bits.

Then he told me how he and his wife had gone to the outskirts of Prague to visit a particular church and how they hadn't found the particular church they were looking for but had found another church instead. 

That was what religion for him was like.

Saturday, 1 September 2012

The Power of Positive Thinking


A very wise man sent everyone on Earth a copy of his book 'The Power of Positive Thinking'.
He thought it contained the answers to all the problems of life.

Like I said he sent a copy to everyone on Earth then he sent everyone on Earth a second copy in case they hadn't gotten around to reading the first copy. So many copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' were thrown out waste dumps began to fill up. 

The very wise man sent extra copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' to couples in case they were planning on having children sometime soon who would need their own copy (when they grew up). Millions of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' cascaded into rivers and blocked them. 

Governments organised special 'The Power of Positive Thinking' collection services. Following the passing of a special law the US Federal authorities filled up the Grand Canyon with unwanted copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. In the slums of South America, Africa and India people made their houses out of stacks of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. In Europe copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' were burnt in massive bonfires adding significantly to global warming.

Then the very wise man sent everyone on Earth a special signed copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' with a brand new introduction and impressive reviews on the back.

Astronauts in space could see mountains of The Power of Positive Thinking (the astronauts could also see coral reefs). Islands of The Power of Positive Thinking were formed off the cost of North America. Sea levels rose nearly half a meter causing massive destruction.

Whole towns were washed away by floods of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'

When the paperback edition was sent to everyone on Earth cities were evacuated, martial law imposed and postmen were shot on sight.

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