Sunday, 22 May 2016


Masturbation: a cheap thrill made at the expense of 1.2 Billions of years of evolution.

Monday, 16 May 2016


Art is nothing but lightwaves reflecting into the eyeballs of primates.

Monday, 9 May 2016

The Uncertainty Principle

A week after they had come up with the concept of Quantum Teleportation, Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen met up once again but on this occasion nothing at all sprang to their prodigious scientific minds and so at 8 o'clock they went home. 

Monday, 2 May 2016

Towards a Pessimistic Theory of Art

Our perceptions of the world are, in the last analysis, pains.

And what we regard as beautiful are simply those experiences which hurt us the least.


Sunday, 24 April 2016


Is an oranagatang conscious enough to collapse a wave function?

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Family Folklore

Our Family photo album only goes back as far as our grandparents. After them it is just blank pages. Grandma and Grandpa were necessary beings, each containing their very own reason for being. They had met at a necessary being convention and were in the papers for a while back in the 40s before people lost interest.

Tuesday, 5 April 2016

The Beauty of Life

'Can you see the amazing rainbow?'
'The dead twin foetus growing out of my forehead is blocking my view; wait while I swing it out of the way.'