Monday, 27 June 2016

Design Argument

Were the universe meant to make sense it would quickly disappear in a puff of logic.

Therefore the universe is not meant to make sense.

Sunday, 19 June 2016


Churches are like theatres: while I never go into them it's reassuring, I guess, to know they are there. 

Monday, 6 June 2016

The Alcoholic

It has to be said that she was a very considerate drunk at dinner parties always managing to throw up into her own wine glass.

Sunday, 29 May 2016

Closed Minded

The great medieval doors had been ingeniously designed so that they could only be opened from the outside; once inside the church it was quite impossible to ever leave.

Sunday, 22 May 2016


Masturbation: a cheap thrill made at the expense of 1.2 Billions of years of evolution.

Monday, 16 May 2016


Art is nothing but lightwaves reflecting into the eyeballs of primates.

Monday, 9 May 2016

The Uncertainty Principle

A week after they had come up with the concept of Quantum Teleportation, Einstein, Podolsky and Rosen met up once again but on this occasion nothing at all sprang to their prodigious scientific minds and so at 8 o'clock they went home.