The Home Owner

David Sporat walked around his house as if he owned it.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack sat down and started to philosophise 
that he was perhaps nothing more than a character in a 18th Century nursery rhyme and Jill went off with Bill. 

The Little Old Lady

I knew a little old lady who believed, till the day she died, that there was a God in heaven and thus everything was good with the world.

And yet this same little old lady could never convince herself that the light in her fridge went off when she closed the door. 

Go figure.

Politics

She was gesturing wildly and dropped a lump of ash from her cigarette into her belly button. Still arguing her point she ran into the sea.

The Appliance

What sort of crime could make an otherwise sane man spend four years in a tumble dryer?

What unspeakable act would warrant such a fate?

Was he hiding or was his spending four years in a tumble dryer a self imposed punishment? 

Did it have some symbolic meaning? Surely.

What sort of crime had he committed or what sort of crime had he thought he had committed? 

And what if the man had in fact committed no crime at all? 

Internet Dating

I befriended a pervert online. He turned out to be a beautiful woman.

The Terrible Joke

A couple came to stay with us one weekend. The woman was a comedian. She had picked up her boyfriend at one of her stand up performances.

She got drunk and told me it had all been a terrible joke.