Saturday, 28 July 2012

A True Love Story (Part 3)

The woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground really did lose her concentration just outside the man who couldn't open doors' flat.

She fumbled for her Critique as she rose above the railings. She read the following passage:

'Can it be that this requirement of reason has been wrongly treated in being viewed as a transcendental principle of pure reason, and that we have been over-hasty in postulating such an unbounded completeness of the series of conditions such as unbounded completeness of the series of conditions in the objects themselves.'

The woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground hovered for a moment considering this question then began to rise again.

She desperately flicked through the Critique again reaching the window where the man who couldn't open doors looked out at the world.

The man who couldn't open doors looked at the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground.

He fell in love.
And she dropped The Critique of Pure Reason.

The man who couldn't open doors opened his window. (Windows were no problem for the man who couldn't open doors.)
'Do you have a book I could read?' asked the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground.
'Sorry, I don't' said the man who couldn't open doors.
'Tell me something interesting quickly then' begged the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground as she floated passed the window.
'I can't open doors' said the man who couldn't open doors.

This made the woman sink low enough for the man who couldn't open doors to grab hold of the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground and pull her into his flat.

The man who couldn't open doors spent the afternoon talking the woman down from the ceiling by asking her square roots.

'What is the square root of 6?'
'What is the square root of 16?'

By some stroke of luck the man who couldn't open doors was wonderful at square roots.

After that the man who couldn't open doors and the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground saw each other often.

Whenever they went anywhere the man who couldn't open doors climbed onto the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground's back.

Whenever they needed to open a door the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground would open the door and whenever the man who couldn't open doors felt the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground begin to float off he would ask her what the square root of some number was. 

On the woman's birthday the man who couldn't open doors bought her Kant's Critique of Judgement and Phenomenology of Spirit by Hegel, he had been recommended it by the book seller when he told her he was looking for a book for a woman who had to concentrate. 
They were very happy together.

People thought they looked strange but didn't concern themselves with them a great deal having their own set of problems to deal with.

The man who couldn't open doors and the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground went to see a film. It didn't have much of a plot and the man who couldn't open doors had to whisper square roots to the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground.

The man who couldn't open doors and the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground really did walk through a park after the film and the man who couldn't open doors really did kiss the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground.

She fluttered a little off the ground.
Then he asked her what the square root of 7 was.
Then he kissed her again.
Then she fluttered some more.
Then he asked her what the square root of 4 was.

This went on and on and soon the man and the woman were naked and the man was asking questions about quadratic equations and the general law of relativity.

They were the most wonderful questions anyone had ever asked in the history of the world.

The man who couldn't open doors and the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground made love.

Then the woman who had to concentrate to stay on the ground drifted off into space and was lost amongst the stars.


This is a true love story. Something like this really happened.


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