Saturday, 27 October 2012

The Story

I've been living with this story. Night times are great but during the day it just sits around comparing itself to other stories I've had. It nags me to make it sing, to make it perfect. 
Anyway I've decided to finish with it.

Saturday, 20 October 2012

The Appointment

I once phoned a psychic and invited her over to read my mind.
At the end of our slightly flirty conversation she asked for my address.
'But you're psychic' I reminded her and hung up.

Saturday, 13 October 2012


One day all the hinges in my house came to life and flew away. 
The moment after they had gone all the doors in my house fell over one after the other like ponderous sentences. 

I wanted to write about this but it was raining.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

10% of GNP

This is the real story of the Tower of Babel. 

The Government of Babel decided to build an enormous tower as a shameless PR stunt. Every year it reached further and further into the sky. They soon had to put lights on the tower so that planes didn't accidentally fly into it. They spent something like 10% of Babel's GNP on the project.

Local people sued the Government because the tower effected their TV reception. A judge ruled that good TV reception was a fundamental human right.

The Government gave all the local people lots of money and cable TVs and kept building the tower. On the advice of their generals they set up missile batteries around the tower to deter any terrorist attack.

Four years behind schedule they reached the heavens. 

The people of Babel were not scattered across the face of the Earth nor was their language confounded. In fact there was no sign of God at all in upper stratosphere so the politicians, architects and workmen decided to just keep on building...

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