Sunday, 30 March 2014

If God was Real

If God was real after the news a priest would come on and say things like "Tomorrow God will start off ambivalent, becoming more vengeful as the afternoon progresses."

And we would wear crosses the way we carry umbrellas.

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Nature Lover

Outside my window the neighbouring trees infidecimally slowly fight it out to the death.

Sunday, 16 March 2014

The Collapsable Cathedral

The new Cathedral had been designed rather like a concertina so that it's Bishop could count how many people were waiting outside and with a turn of a dial expand or contract the cathedral's vaulted ceiling and walls accordingly. 

During periods of great national crisis (war, famine and disease) the dial was turned up as far as it would go and the Cathedral took up an entire block but most of the time the house of God with it's gargoyles, flying buttresses and holy relics was folded out of the way between Pound land and Tesco Metro.

Sunday, 9 March 2014

The Misunderstanding

While waiting for the traffic lights to change the man tied his shoe lace and the woman he was with said yes.

Sunday, 2 March 2014

The Teacher

The teacher explains Post Modernism to his students who refuse to listen to another word he says, perceiving him as merely a social construct.

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