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After many years of studying the mindless actions of the insects on the floor of his confessional, the priest renounced his faith and became an entomologist.

Love

I take my wife out to dinner. I scan the restaurant for attractive women; one takes my eye. She is smiling. It is my wife in the giant mirror that stretches across the room like time.

Enormous Rubber Hands

God looked at the reflection he made in car windows as he passed, hoping to see his head, but the cars were all too low down and the closest he got were glimpses of his enormous rubber hands.

Doubting Thomas

When Jesus had shown Doubting Thomas the holes in his hands Thomas had laughed, slapped Jesus on the back and wandered off into the misty and contorted folds of history.

Diary of a Dead Man

Monday 15th .........................................
Tuesday 16th .........................................
Wednesday 17th ......................................
Thursday 18th ........................................
Friday 19th ..........................................

The Sunflowers

Every morning I remark to myself how well my sunflowers are doing; they are a constant source of inspiration and wonder to me.
(I know the sunflowers are plastic but I do not tell myself this.)

Ghosts

I once attended a series of lectures on ghosts. At the first the lecturer asked if anyone had seen a ghost; about ten people put up their hands.
At the second lecture he asked if anyone had ever been touched by a ghost; four people put up their hands.
At the third lecture the lecturer asked if anyone had ever slept with a ghost; no one put up their hands and I stopped going to those particular lectures.